We completed our 10-hour training requirement on Saturday by attending a Meet the Parents class. It was a discussion led by a panel of parents, all who had adopted recently through Crossroads. In attendance, along with us, were some familiar faces of those from previous classes. It's a bonus that we've met some cool people. We picked up a lot of great tips from the panel, mostly to do with travel. We'll need to travel to the birth state (likely FL, NV, UT) to pick up baby. And we'll need to stay there until the legal requirements are met, typically 1-2 weeks. Lots to plan for!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Crib and dresser...
The adoption timeline (or lack of) is a difficult thing to get a grasp on. Bringing a child into your life in the traditional way has a very definite timeline (give or take a few weeks). You can pace yourself and do what’s appropriate at different stages of the game. We don’t have that. So what do we do? Do we plan? Do we buy things? Some adoptive parents are comfortable with getting what they need on the fly, but I’m a planner. I want everything to be organized and adorable in advance. Ultimately, I decided to take the advice of a woman I met at church. She said to treat this time like I’m “expecting”. I am, just not in the same way. And we don’t necessarily have plenty of time or even 9 months. The way things are going, we will likely have all of the formalities completed and be officially “waiting” by mid March. And then it could happen at any time. We need to be ready! So, after much internet browsing, Ross and I went shopping on Sunday and ordered a crib and dresser (from Baby on Grand). Yea!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Home Study Guideline Questions...
We turned in our responses to the home study guideline questions yesterday. Finally! Our case worker, Sheila, uses our responses to write up her formal home study report. In the end, it took us about three weeks, with some procrastinating, to get through it. We put in a couple of hours every few days. The final result totaled 18 typed pages, single spaced, and that was keeping it short and simple. I have to say, we did not enjoy this portion of the journey, and the completion of these questions had been weighing on us for a while. They ask every question you could ever think to ask a person, and then they ask it again in four different ways. The redundancy was very frustrating. At one point we complained to each other that it wasn’t fair; we shouldn’t have to do this when “normal” people don’t have to. We quickly corrected ourselves and said that, actually, everyone should have to do this. It does get you thinking and talking about things you otherwise probably wouldn’t, at least not with this amount of energy. For that, I suppose I’ll concede that it was a good thing. I can say that now because it’s over. Or at least with any luck it’s over. We suspect Sheila may come back to us for more detail in some areas—hope not, though.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Positive Adoption Language...
The words we choose can say a lot about what we think and value. When writing about or discussing adoption, please consider using language from the right-hand column.
Negative Terms Positive Terms
Giving up her child for adoption................ Placing her child for adoption
Real parent; natural parent...................... Birth parent, biological parent
Adoptive parent...................................... Parent
His adopted child.................................... His child
Illegitimate............................................. Born to unmarried parents
Adoptee................................................. Child who was adopted
To keep................................................. To parent
Adoptable child; available child................. Waiting child
Foreign adoption..................................... International adoption
Track down parents................................ Search
Unwanted child........................................ Child placed for adoption
Is adopted.............................................. Was adopted
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