The words we choose can say a lot about what we think and value. When writing about or discussing adoption, please consider using language from the right-hand column.
Negative Terms Positive Terms
Giving up her child for adoption................ Placing her child for adoption
Real parent; natural parent...................... Birth parent, biological parent
Adoptive parent...................................... Parent
His adopted child.................................... His child
Illegitimate............................................. Born to unmarried parents
Adoptee................................................. Child who was adopted
To keep................................................. To parent
Adoptable child; available child................. Waiting child
Foreign adoption..................................... International adoption
Track down parents................................ Search
Unwanted child........................................ Child placed for adoption
Is adopted.............................................. Was adopted
Hi Beth!
ReplyDeleteI stumbled onto your blog, while doing a little reading on A Pair of Pink Shoes. I wanted to say hello and wish you the very best during these waiting days. I particulary love this post, as I am a birthmother and the term "giving up" in reference to adoption, has always made me cringe. When my baby girl was born ,nearly 23 years ago, and I placed her in her mama's arms I felt that I had transferred her care. I'll be following along as you wait to meet your little one, whose care will be transferred to you and Ross. All the best...sending many good positive, thoughts your way. It's very clear that your baby will be so very loved.
Take care,
Jenny V
Ps...The nursery is wonderful!
Jenny,
DeleteYour message came into my email as my husband, our dog, and I were making our way to the family lake place for the holiday weekend. I read your message out loud to Ross. I get so excited with each new follower. I get especially excited to gain a follower in someone that I didn’t previously know. I’m not even on Facebook, so the blog was a stretch for me, but I’m so glad I’m doing it. I love hearing from people like you. And how amazing that you are a birthmom! I’m honored to have your support.
It’s interesting timing to hear from you, as I’ve been thinking lately that I want to put more effort into understanding (maybe appreciating is a better word) the birthmom perspective. Another follower recommended the book, “Dear Birthmother, Thank You for Our Baby.” I think I’ll check that out. Please, if you have any other recommendations, I would love to hear them. I do love your way of looking at adoption as “transferring of care.”
Thank you for taking the time to leave a note—so appreciated.
Beth
Oh, and thanks for the nursery compliment! ;)
Hi Beth,
ReplyDeleteIt's very nice to meet you. Ironically, I would have recommended that book as well. I have it on my bedside book shelf and it's lovely. My mom bought it for me when I was pregnant...I love it and I think you will too. I am really excited to follow along on your journey. Adoption is so different now...I love the possibilities for everyone involved in making decisions for a precious new life. I have been corresponding with a fellow birthmother recently...here is the link to her story. I bet you'll find it as wonderfully inspiring as I did.
http://www.theyuskos.com/adoption/mystory.html
You take care!
Jenny V
Ps...I would be happy to offer my perspective anytime. If you have any questions, feel free to send them my way!
ReplyDeleteJennyvalente@msn.com