Becoming an Advocate...

I travel throughout the country quite a bit for work.  I'm always meeting new people and engaging in getting-to-know-you conversations during dinners or other events.  Those conversations inevitably lead to the do-you-have-kids question.  During a recent trip to Orlando, the questions still came, but my reaction was different.  I didn't shy away or give some dismissive one-word answer, as I have in years past.  In fact, I found myself actually waiting and hoping that someone would ask me.  And when they did (because people always do), I was open and enthusiastic.  Wow, what a switch!  I talked about our adoption, and I loved it!  I think maybe I even lit up, because the people around me lit up.  They asked questions and I answered, stealthily correcting common misconceptions and unwitting negative language.  People, some I knew very little or not at all prior, became invested and asked to be informed of updates.  During one of my conversations, someone never having considered adoption before, exclaimed, “That could be an option for me!”  I felt peaceful and proud, and, dare I say, special.  That sounds a little self serving, but it’s true, it is special.  Adoption is special.  I am blessed to be part of it.  And, even though we’re not yet on the other side and there are still major struggles, I’m enjoying becoming an advocate.

Some Activity...

Over the last two months, we’ve had some activity, but, unfortunately, nothing has panned out.  While we’re grateful to have activity so soon, it’s challenging to reconcile the feelings of being so close, but yet so far.  I do try and remind myself that maybe we’re not so far.  I know that things could happen at any time.  I wake up each day and think, today could be the day.  The part I need to do better with is the closing of the day when I realize, alas, it was not the day, after all.  Note to self… Resolve to resume focus on new day (and hope for end to merciless repeat)!  A slight wallow, I know, but I say it’s allowed once in a while.  Feel it, then move on; an emotional skill that I’m getting good at.