Monday, May 20, 2013

An Essay...

A friend of mine, another adoptive mama, passed this on to me. It got to me, as some of the words spoke to past challenges and some of the words warned of the challenges we might someday face.  Adoption comes with unique challenges, that’s for sure.  But the true honor and blessings far outweigh. 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

A New Year: 2013...

I found this in my drafts, written early January.  I wrote quite a bit during that time, but never posted.  This is easier to share now, knowing that 2013 did turn out to be our year.  Goes to show God's timing...     

Over the years, I’ve had only one pregnancy.  They told me it probably wouldn’t last.  It didn’t.  But I was a mom for a few days.
I was a mom for a few days again in November, in Las Vegas.
"Infant in arms.  If you’re traveling with a small child, your boarding pass must indicate Infant in Arms."  During my work travels, I’ve heard that announcement so often.  Each time, I’d close my eyes and imagine the day they were talking to me, the flight when I’d have an infant in arms.
That November flight home from Vegas was maybe the worst of all of the terrible moments.  The flight I had imagined so many times.  But not like that.  Not with empty arms.  I cried the entire time.  It was dark, thankfully.
Since then there have been fewer tears.  They spring to the surface at random times.  But definitely fewer and farther between. 
And now it’s a new year. 
For me, since starting this journey, there’s something both sad and hopeful about a new year. 
Another birthday.  Another holiday season.  Without.     
Yet the feeling that this year will be our year.  We’ve said that so many times, always thinking, this has to be it. 
Our adoption status is “active” again.  Back to waiting.  Let’s see what 2013 brings.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Back to Work...

My 12 week leave ended and I returned to work on April, 22nd.  I did most of my crying during the first week of April, when the realization hit that my time was ending. 
I confronted my first overnight work travel last week.  I missed some of my favorite moments.  I love entering her room first thing in the morning, when she greets us with huge smiles from her crib.  And I love rocking her at night before putting her to bed. 
It's hard going from spending all day together, to spending just a fraction of that.  Such is life.  She and I are adjusting just fine.   
Taken just before church, the Sunday before returning to work.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Blogger Gone Astray...

So sorry to all of my followers!  I haven't had the time to blog.  I was hardly on my computer at all during my leave.  That's not because Rae has been difficult.  No, quite the opposite.  It's because she's been just wonderful.  I love spending every moment I can with her.  The last months have been filled with a whole lot of playing and a whole lot of this...
So, I should say I haven't taken the time, not I haven't had the time.  But I vow to get back to it.  Stay tuned for a barrage of posts!  I probably shouldn't make that promise, but maybe some accountability is what I need.  :)